no questions axed

Disclaimer: All stories are real experiences, however names have been removed for privacy purposes.

“Welcome back!” is how I was greeted when I returned back from my quick departure. I was familiar with most of my team already, so the pleasantries were short-lived. Considering I was returning back to the job that laid me off, I had something to prove and was ready to get to business.

My new manager was a guy named Bill. Bill was a short, middle-aged white male with glasses who argued with his wife weekly (like “hang up in her face” argue). He once toured with a band in Europe and wasn’t shy about sharing what happened backstage. Marvin warned me about Bill, telling me how rude and condescending he could be to his reports, but I wasn’t sure how it was any different from what I experienced with Marvin. So, I guess we’ll see.

As for my new role, I was doing exceptionally well. My pipeline was healthy and I was closing complex deals. I began to get attention amongst my peers, even outperforming a few of the sales vets. Bill was even surprised on how quickly I caught on and would come by my cubicle for small talk which made me feel that I could lower my guard.

Four months in, we were all headed to Las Vegas for our sales kickoff meeting (SKO). SKO was an internal, company-wide conference where our executive leadership would announce our go-to-market strategy, new products, and employee awards. People usually took this time to let their hair down, while others continued to work -- so you saw a bit of everything.

While there, I was working on a deal that required Bill’s approval for me to execute a quote for my customer. It was a sizable deal, so I was very excited when I approached him during a breakout session. He listened to the details, but never responded. On the table lied a stack of paper napkins and a pen, in which he took one of both and wrote the word “axed” and “asked.” He proceeded to tell me the difference between the words and recommended I sign-up for Toastmasters because I didn’t pronounce “asked” correctly and was saying "axed" instead. (yes, you read that right)

I was shocked and immediately taken aback, but did something I regret to this day: I said nothing. I got the approval and while I walked back to my hotel room, I started to get hot (literally). From my scalp to my feet, my body began to overheat and tingle. When I returned to my room, I choked up with emotion after I googled Toastmasters and realized what it was. I felt dumb, disrespected, and most importantly, disappointed that I didn’t stand up for myself and allowed Bill to think he could insult me without consequence. Making a recommendation to attend public-speaking classes is one thing, but writing words a paper napkin like I was in the 3rd grade was truly degrading. As I allowed my thoughts to fester, I remembered that our very own VP from Boston had the strongest accent I've ever heard and I'm confident Bill never belittled him by writing words on a napkin to correct how he pronounced words like 'car' -- So, why me? What was he thinking?

I replayed what Marvin told me about Bill, but mainly his advice that it would only get harder for me. When we returned back to Atlanta, I avoided interactions with Bill and only spoke to him when necessary.

I had other plans on my mind.

-btg